Recently, I did a post which offers 7 tips for dating in your thirties. Those tips were pretty traditional; old school if you will. The fact of the matter was I did readers an injustice when I didn’t include the 8th tip – Create an Online Profile. In my defense, there are 2 reasons why I chose to not mention online dating … well there are 3:
- I am concerned about writer’s block so I have to reserve some of the things I can write about. Also, my posts are long enough, so anything I can keep out that can be a subject in a post of it’s own kind of kills 2 birds with one stone.
- I couldn’t offer the tip without giving an overview of what is out there.
- I actually forgot to mention it and the first 2 reasons combined is the coping mechanism I employed for forgetting. In other words, I forgot to mention it, but it is okay because online dating can be a post of it’s own and it wouldn’t be efficient to tack it onto something else for the sake of content generation and readability over the long run.
Personally, I am over online dating because my experience with it hasn’t really been anything to write home about. A huge part of my issue is I want the women on one site to act like the women on another site. In other words, I am physically attracted to and more familiar with the different archetypes of women on one site and I am mentally attracted to the different archetypes of women on the other site but totally unfamiliar and I mean totally unfamiliar. (Note: This very logic is going to be revisited and unpacked in a different way in a post I am working on that is sooooo juicy and controversial, I don’t even know if I’ll have the balls to press “publish.”)
Call me a sapiosexual, but mental attraction has always been very important to me. Granted, even though in my experience I’ve never had a girlfriend that was, really, into being smart … it kinda just happens by default, it’s always been my desire. I’ve been pretty complacent about it, but at 35, I simply have no tolerance for anything other than what I want. Alls I want is someone who can match me intellectually in their own special way and I haven’t been able to find anything remotely close to that on the site I frequent. Something is telling me what I am looking for is on the other site, but again, the women there give me pause … no … they don’t give me pause … something is giving me pause and it will be revealed in this post I really want to publish but I am scared.
Tips to Remember
- Online dating is fairly simple. The hardest part about the online dating process is the amount of dating sites there are to chose from. And I am going to be honest with you, you have to chose because you can’t have a profile on every site. While 2 sites is ideal, you really don’t want to chose more than 3 because there is nothing sexy about running into your “interests” on other sites and it won’t be anything sexy about them running into you on other sites either.
- Another tip for online dating before I let you in on a few of the sites to think about is make sure your profile is comprehensive. Fill out everything. Especially on the bigger sites because there are thousands and thousands and thousands of profiles and you want all of your options to be open to you for what you SPECIFICALLY want at all times.
- Remember to ask open ended questions and provide open ended statements. Without those, your experience is going to be bleak. Do not waste your time on anyone who isn’t doing the same … there are thousands of more profiles where that one came from.
- Having a profile full of head shots is unacceptable for you pretty BBW women. If you are insecure about a full body shot then you are not ready for ANY KIND OF DATING, be it online, traditional, or speed.
Online Dating Sites
Okay Cupid, known as OKC, is really nice if you want to bear your soul. Your profile is split up into essays. There is a lot of writing involved. Especially here you want to make sure you have a good command of the English language because this site is chuck full of people who can articulate themselves using words. There is also this really interesting line of questioning that ties into whatever algorithm they are using to connect people with one another – you should answer as many as you can. A lot of people on this site if they aren’t already in their career, they have some form of independence. There are a lot of creative people on this site, thinkers, and the types of people who do non-profit work. It’s not rare to come across people who volunteer. The lives of the people on OKC seem very robust and there are over 4 million active users as of September 2014 so said a google search. Also, OKC is free. For the people you find on OKC, I think it being free is really a steal. I also think OKC is the best out there for the 30 and up crowd. You can put together so much about a person from their essays which helps to make the decision of whether or not you want to correspond easier. This feature gets awesomer the older you get because the older you get tolerance for dumb shit and surprises dwindles and the importance of having a choice and not being blindsided spikes on an upward trend.
Uh, I don’t know what is happening on the straight side of Plenty of Fish as far as the quality of the users, but, I’m not interested. POF has been around for a very long time and I do remember when it first started the quality of people to connect with was a bit better, now it’s slim pickings. Don’t get me wrong, it could be my demographics. Most of these sites operate by location features and I live in the hood, so that’s my pick. As a result of the first reason, it could also be that I just don’t want what I can get off of POF so I’m not really putting in any effort. Even when it was recommended to me by 2 of my friends, I had to realize that I didn’t have the same goals as them. Also, when I realized I wasn’t having a great experience on POF I realized that I didn’t have the same goals of the people on the site and even if I did, I didn’t want it with them.
POF, though is cool. There are a ton of active users. They have a really cool feature called “Meet Me” where you can browse through profile pictures and if you like the profile of someone who liked your profile, you will be notified. They offer a premium plan, but no one purchases it. This is a free dating site that, unlike OKC, lacks quality control over their members. POF, however, is really good *like* really awesome for people over 30 who just want to “hook up”. People on POF are more likely to go for the “Netflix and chill” type FIRST date, if you know what I mean.
I don’t know anything about Tinder from personal experience. It is pretty new. However, I am really interested in seeing what all of the hype is about. I do know I worked with a young man that was on it and he gave me the run down. He also said he loved it. I’ve also heard whispers of it being something to get into, but honestly I have yet to go on there.
Tinder sounds like it may be very interesting to me because it takes the Meet Me feature from POF and that is pretty much it. You swipe though profile pictures. If you like the picture you swipe in one direction and if you do not like the picture you swipe in the opposite direction. If someone whose picture you liked likes your picture as well, you both will be given an option to chat with one another. Seems to me like it cuts the bullshit out of it all. Another interesting fact about Tinder? There is no website, it is only an application available for iOS and Android devices.
Tinder, those whispers I heard, is known for being a “hook up” site. I guess because it is based off of physical attraction? I think for people who are in their 30s, Tinder is definitely one of the profiles they should have for those long single nights. Tinder has a huge huge data base thanks to how they have marketed their service. Also, the simplicity of it all I’m sure impacts how active their users are. Another thing … if people are actually hooking up on a regular basis, then a site like this is going to spread like wildfire. You should … wait, because I don’t even have a profile on that site … we should definitely get in on the action.
Fuck!!! You know … I don’t know what to say about Badoo. I think the only reason I keep going back is because a few years ago I met a lover from Badoo. Now this girl turned out to be a fucking nut, but I have never had a lover like her before and I have yet to have another. Gosh when I think about that girl I feel 57 different emotions all because she was a superstar in bed. Fucking her was like, “Light, Camera, Action!” I mean, this girl would talk dirty to me in her language. As tired as I am in bed as an adult, she used to make me feel like I was in my early 20s … Lionel Richie All Night Long …
Then, about a year after that psycho I met a really sweet young lady who was curious. She was new to the area and wanted a tour guide. It was perfect because like me she had just moved here. She satisfied my homesickness and a few other things. I really enjoyed her too.
So, while Badoo seems to be offering up some Golden lovers, years later, I can’t get past, “Hello,” with the majority of the users. Maybe the quality has declined or maybe it’s because I haven’t been putting in any effort. Who knows? Another weird thing about Badoo is there are a lot of women on the site from South America. I don’t know if they had a marketing campaign over there because it was cheap and they wanted to get their user base up before they started marketing in America or just because. I go through a lot of foreign women before I get to an American one or one where English is their first language.
I hope this information will help you figure out which site to chose should you decide to give online dating a shot. I mean, in 2016 it’s almost like you are the crazy one if you aren’t doing it. Even the most traditional of people have profiles on sites like OKC, especially. Thank you for taking the time to read and I hope I didn’t bore you. If I didn’t bore you be sure to give the post a like.
I was wondering what you think about online dating. Leave your comments. Have you tried it? Do you have experience with any of these sites? Have you heard any success stories? Do you think I should get Tinder? I mean shit, if it is a “hook up” site like people say it is then shouldn’t I get in on the action? I mean, it’s been the Sahara Desert over here since October … What’s been your experience with Tinder?
Oh … and if you are still trying to figure out what I’m up to check out the About Page.