You Can Grab Her By The Pussy: A Rant About Stereotypes And Being Single

img_0893_fotorBefore I started work this morning, I was standing on the corner of a pretty busy street having a Newport when I noticed a driver doing something dumb in the middle of the intersection.  While they were in the process of making a right turn, they decided that they may or may not want to pull over to park, so as they started to make the turn they wound up half in the driving lane and half in the lane reserved for parking at the curb and they slowed down.  Cars started honking, the car behind the driver doing the dumb shit had to cut off a driver in another lane to make his way around, and for a split second things were dangerous for every driver and pedestrian except for the dummy who’d started it all.  By the time the driver made it into a parking spot, I was done smoking my cigarette.  I walked a few feet and looked into the car and you know who was driving?  A Chinese woman.

Initially I smiled a bit, because it made sense.  The fact that Chinese people cannot drive has been a popular stereotype for decades.  It’s such a popular stereotype, we might as well call it common knowledge.  The more I thought about it, though, that smile faded to black and I it was replaced by confusion and anyone who knows me knows once I am confused, anger is lurking right around the corner.  I HATE BEING CONFUSED.  In a short distance, I’d made it to the store.  But in that same distance, my brain had worked through decades of stereotypes, wondering why the fuck do people get so bent out of shape about them.  If no one helped to make it clear to me before, what I’d just witnessed on the corner with the Chinese woman sure did – stereotypes do not just come out of the clear blue sky.  There truths to stereotypes.

As a matter of fact, if I never believed in stereotypes before this morning, after watching the driver maneuver in the manner she did I’d believe them all.

Blacks love watermelon and fried chicken.  Big and beautiful women love animal prints.  People from the Caribbean have 5 jobs.  The Chinese cannot drive.  What is there to be offended about?  Why do stereotypes have such a negative connotation when there is truth to them?  I just don’t get it.  Don’t get me wrong, now – You’ll never, ever see me eating watermelon or fried chicken outside because no one wants to be part of a stereotype … but why?  I mean I do really love watermelon and fried chicken.  However, when I am in the city among whites, the last thing I want to do is bust down a watermelon or an order of fried chicken.  As a matter of fact, a white person offered me some of her watermelon once, and I almost slapped her.  Stereotyping, even if it is true, makes people uncomfortable.  I want that to stop.  It’s like the time I almost went World Star Hip Hop on a guy for offering me hot sauce and barbeque sauce for my pita when I wanted vinaigrette.  I didn’t know if he was offering me that because I was black or not.  Plus, it wasn’t even what I wanted.  Either way, it’s that angry feeling of being stereotyped that, I believe, is propelling women across the world to think they deserve an apology for Trump’s remarks.

Trump’s Latest Scandal

Once I got to work, I was telling the crew that I finally found the balls to press “Publish” on a post about Donald Trump.  Immediately, they began talking about something that happened the end of last week.  Apparently, Trump and Billy Bush were on their way somewhere and there was a microphone on that recorded their entire conversation.  They didn’t know they were being recorded and some really lewd things were said by both men.

One of the things Trump said, which he has already apologized for, was, “You can grab them by the pussy!”  He was pretty much saying that when you have money you can do whatever you want to women.  He also mentioned how he just kisses women and how he is automatically attracted to beautiful.  Now, the world is in outrage.  Planned Parenthood said that what he was describing when he was talking was sexual assault.  Another critic thinks that both Donald Trump and Billy Bush, host of the Today show (which is slated to lose viewership behind this scandal, as they count women as their core market), should apologize to all women for their comments.  You know what I say?  I say, “FUCK THAT!”

I do not know who is on Trump’s team – I mean, who are his advisors?  Who told him to apologize?  I think that was a huge mistake.  And his wife?  Even huger for her to publicly announce that what he said was unacceptable.  You know what that let me know?  It let me know that he grabbed her by the pussy and that is how they wound up together.  At this point in the game, any apology Trump gives is only going to dig him a deeper hole.  I think the only course of action left for him is to own up to the asshole jerk that he is, the same asshole jerk that we all know him to be.  I think he would’ve done much better.  Here’s why:

Donald Trump has been a womanizer for decades.  Did he have a public affair on his first wife with the woman who became his second wife, or naw?  I guess everyone thought objectifying and demeaning women was exclusive to rappers or something?  Now you know, has nothing to do with the damned industry, it has to do with the bank.  Everyone wants Trump to apologize for what?  If his whole life he has had money and women have responded to him in the manner that they have, then why is everyone mad at him and not the women who allowed him to form the conclusion he shared with Billy Bush on the bus?  If Trump has been walking up to beautiful women and tonguing them down and/or grabbing their pussy and he’s been generously received then who the fuck is at fault?  I think women need to start accepting responsibility for what they will stand for and what they won’t.  Here is an awesome stereotype: Men are like dogs, they have to be trained.  And guess what?  The day you act like that stereotype isn’t true, will be the day you get your pussy grabbed.

I Blame The Women

img_0916

While the rest of the world is looking at Trump like he is a disgusting pig jerk, I am looking at women like they are the disgusting ones.  Women do allow men with money to do whatever they want.  Women do allow men with money to demean them.  Women do allow men with money to do things they wouldn’t allow a man with no money to do.  Mind you, I am taking this very personal because I am single and it isn’t by choice.  Totally different circumstance, but read on, I’ll explain:

In the city I live, finding a good black man is like finding a needle in a haystack, so I hear.  My friends, all of whom are straight, have shared experiences of theirs and people they know that are so crazy I be stuck on stupid.  Guys stealing money out of their girl’s purse or bank (I’ve heard both).  They bought their boyfriend a pair of sneakers and a whole lay (outfit) and then they didn’t come home that night.  Their boyfriend doesn’t work, clean, cook, or pay a bill and is outside in the park all day with his friends.  They’re cheating with the girl 2 doors down.  You know how many guys in this city have babies that are the same age, a few months apart, from different women?  I’ve heard that story a number of times the 8 years I’ve been in this city.

When I first moved to this city, I moved here to be with a woman I met online.  We talked for a year, but when I moved to be with her, I realized that she was a bit weird … I figured maybe it was her upbringing.  She didn’t say please or thank you, she littered, she didn’t obey the rules of the road when driving – I thought she was Chinese.  She used to stop her car in the middle of the street to do things or wait and cars would line up behind her and she didn’t care.  She was rude.  Eventually, I came to learn rude women are very common in Philadelphia.  New Yorkers are said to be weird, but if there are levels to this shit, then I promise you, the rudeness here is on a totally different level.

We broke up and I got into a relationship with another woman shortly after.  This woman was the worst.  I couldn’t figure it out what was making her the worse because she seemed normal.  She worked in an office, she kept herself up, and she was smart.  I worked really hard, I didn’t cheat, and I cared for her in a way I’ve never cared for anyone.  Eventually, I found out she was cheating and had been cheating for at least a year, right under my nose.  What bothered me wasn’t the cheating, so much as who she was cheating with.  The woman didn’t have a job, she wasn’t on a lease anywhere, and she had baggage and drama.  That kind of threw me for a loop.  We broke up and after about 2 years, I started dating.

Dating has really broken my heart.  The stereotypes I’ve developed are damning.  I still can’t even believe it.  As pro-black as I am, so long as I am in this city, I am not interested in dating any of the black women that I typically go for who are from this city.  I, typically, like girls with long weaves who can twerk, that wear heels and shoes but also love jeans and sneakers.  In this city, that archetype is as unfit as they say Donald Trump is.  Their English is chopped, their morals and values are skewed, and they fucking litter.  This became a truth to me.  I don’t give a fuck if there is something so dysfunctional about me that I keep attracting ratchet bitches, if I am always at the wrong place at the wrong time, I have a sign on my forehead that they can see that says, “Sucker” or “Captain Save-A-Hoe” or a combination of each of these items, (I will happily accept all responsibility for attracting some of the chicks I’ve came across in this city) I am not interested.

This got me to thinking about the things I hear about the men in this city.  After 2 relationships and my experiences dating women in this city, I realized that the men in this city can’t possibly be at fault.  This is what I now preach to my friends:

img_0635_fotor“Listen.  I am out here dating the women and I can tell you for a fact, these guys don’t have a chance.  The women in this city are really shitty.  Y’all think I am playing.  If a guy is exposed to shitty woman too young and on a consistent basis, whatever behavior he adopts as a response to the women he has been around and dealt with is going to be his behavior.  It’s going to be up to you to love and trust yourself enough to correct the behavior.  Men are like dogs.  They genuinely want to be trained.  In this city, though, you are going to find a lot of resistance because their previous owners allowed their unruliness to persist.  Go ahead and Google retraining a dog’s bad behavior and see how tedious it is and how diligent you have to be.  ‘Cause I am telling you, the women around here are a mess.  Not only do they want everything for nothing, they don’t accept responsibility for anything.  For that reason, their standards are low.  All they want is someone else around who isn’t doing much so they can have someone to place the blame on or be better than.  These dudes don’t have to work, they can stand on the block all day and come home with no money, they’ll still eat, fuck, and drive a their girl’s car with no license if she has one.  This is what you are getting, but I promise you it can be reversed.  If not, move on … it’s mad dudes in this city!”

With that said, Trump should have never given an apology.  This is like the time I was in the dressing room at the Strip Club trying to cop some feels (I don’t know how I wound up with a backstage pass on that, but I was hype) and overheard a few of the dancers talking about confronting another dancer who was doing VIPs for $50.  Not only were they losing business, she was putting them in a position to have to do things that they weren’t willing to do for less than the going rate of $100.  If anything, women across the world should be mad at the women across the world who create the womanizing monsters they create by not having any standards.

For Pete’s sake!!!  What is wrong with people’s brains?  If I were Trump, I would have beat someone up, today.  You’re not gonna keep nailing me to the cross for how I interpret my experiences.  If I were Trump, this would have been my breaking point!!!  Everyone knows what the majority of women would do for money!!!  It’s not a fucking secret.  And I am talking about women from all walks of life and from all cultures.  The women who feel offended by these remarks are obviously removed from what’s going on, globally.  Lord!!!  Where is the Behavioral Analysis Unit of Criminal Minds when you need them?  I want profiles on all of the women who feel offended, because something isn’t adding up, either they aren’t being honest with their own self, they are a hater, or they have been living under a rock. 

I do not think Trump should be nailed to the cross for his statements when they are and have been true for centuries.  I do think us women should accept responsibility for the things we are known for.

Trump is a pretty interesting character, by the way.  Did you read my other post about Trump?  Well, if you want more insight into how I think about the guy, you should check out Smart but Unfit, Part 1.

If you are wondering who the heck I am to say these things, then you may get a better understanding if you read EBSHAB’s About Page.

 

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s