After glancing around to make sure no one is looking, I lean in and say, “Yo! I hit rock bottom last night!”
Oh my goodness, the look of sadness, confusion, and terror just tickles me so hard, I don’t even know how I find the strength to see the joke through till the end. Their face goes through close to 8 emotions before it settles on sheer curiosity and concern, their head tilts and their eyebrows scrunch and they say so genuinely, “Why, what did you do? How, what do you mean?”
With a shameful tone, I look them in in the eye and I say, “I downloaded the soundtrack to Pitch Perfect 2.”
Sooooo, I don’t know what this is gonna be about. I have to tell people all of the time:
No, I just look like a gang banger … it isn’t the truth. I’ll cry if I have to.
I don’t know why when people see me they never expect me to say the things I say, talk about the things I talk about or know about the things I know about.
… or sound the way I sound.
“I didn’t expect for that to be your voice,” says the girl behind the counter.
“Well, what voice do you hear? People keep saying that it is light and soft, but I hear a really strong and manly voice in my head.”
“Yea, it’s light and sweet,” she says, “I expected a deeper, rougher voice! You look all mean and stuff.”
“Whhhaaaat? No, the mean-look is a defense mechanism. It’s part of my Napolean-Complex.”
I can’t count how many times I’ve had that conversation over the past decade. Girls with outgoing personalities always want to have the voice conversation …
Me and Every Bitch Should Have a Blog
Do you remember when a blog was like an online journal and you could just have one and people still read? Now, everything has to be a certain way and you can make money and your posts should be this long for optimal performance and you gotta do SEO stuff.
Well, I don’t have a degree, money, or the time it takes to teach myself Search Engine Optimization Techniques, but not only do I know how to write, it is a secret passion of mine. I mean, if I could give everything up and just write to my hearts content, I would. I have been writing ever since I was a little girl and no matter how ghetto I look at first glance, I grew up in a house hold where words were gifts and if I was able to use that gift 3x I would have it forever.
Out of my friends, I am the one that should have made it. I am the one who is known as a hard worker and very resourceful. I am the one who gets the call when their kid reaches the 9th grade and needs help with their algebra homework. I am the one who knows a little about everything. The one who really loves reading the bible and retelling the stories in such a way people think to read it for themselves. My brain has a mind of it’s own.
“I would have never thought about it like that!”
Gosh I hear that multiple times a day. I don’t claim to be a contradictarian, but for some reason, people think my logic is from another planet. As a matter of fact, my logic is sooooo off the wall, I was wondering one day if I should go into standup comedy. Another thing people tell me is I get really bent out of shape about things they would have overlook. In my belief, if you analyze small things, you can get insight into what the bigger things will be.
I love to write. I have a perspective on a whole bunch of things like most bitches do. I don’t care how butch I am, I like home keeping, cooking, talking, hair care, celebrity gossip, politics, sports, games, church and religion, relationships, struggles, people … I like a lot of shit. Everyone thinks I love rap music, but I absolutely love Celtic music, like Enya for example, I listen to a shit load of EDM, and if you ask me, I am the DanceHall King for Life.
I love culture, I love food, I love art, I love fitness, I love helping people, I love retail. I mean, with this attitude, who knows what this blog is going to be about. The other day I got a camera and I thought this was going to turn into a photography blog, but right now I am working on a fashion blog …. Who knows what this blog will be about.
Let’s figure it out next year. Maybe we will be able to isolate one theme. I have to admit even I don’t fall into just one theme. I am an Aries, we are all over the place, often times Jacks of All Trades. Let’s hope I can publish 10 consistent posts … I mean Aries were never known for finishing what they started.
At any rate, I wanna thank you for reading and joining me on this ride.